So I am really legitimately almost to the end now! I feel like I've thought it so many times during this last trimester of my pregnancy... once I hit 30 weeks I thought 'wow, I am so close to the end now!' and at 35 weeks I felt like it could happen any day! But here I am, just a few days away from full term and it really actually could be any day now! And I am (mostly) ready. And I imagine if it does happen right now I will simply choose to be (completely) ready. Hehehe. My hospital labor bag is packed with probably more things than I will really need. My husband's "support" bag is ready to go. The diaper bag is filled up with cute baby clothes and anything random I think I'll need for her. I've got a big fluffy pillow and my Boppy nursing pillow waiting by the door. The car seat is installed and ready to bring a baby home! All the cameras and camcorders and other important electronics are charged and packed! I feel like I've gotten all the essentials checked off my list, and other than a vague sort of 'am-I-forgetting-something?' feeling, and knowing there are some essentials that I use everyday that I'll have to remember to grab, I am mostly calm and ready to go.
Buttt... my husband hasn't been feeling the best, dealing with either some sort of stomach bug or maybe even food poisoning?? So as ready as I am, I think it would be best to let him get this out of his system first. I really don't want to be in labor with a sick husband at the hospital. Or... have him get better and then catch (if it's contagious) whatever it is myself... I really seriously do not want to go into labor and also have to contend with some sort of stomach bug. I will not. I refuse. HAHA! I have been staying away from him more than I normally do when he's sick... All that is really out of my control, though, so I am just praying that it will all work out magnificently and trying not to worry about it. :)
Okay, so here we go with the stats:
How Far Along? 39 weeks, 2 Days.
Baby Size: My midwives think that right now she probably weighs about 7.5 lbs. She's been measuring a little big for her gestational age, but they've kinda stopped really measuring at this point, and have just been feeling up the belly. There's no telling how long she is, but probably somewhere around 20 inches.
Gender: She's still a girl!
Movement? YES! It felt like it took me forever to feel any movement, and now it's like she wont stop. And I love it. I had a ton of pressure and kicking really low last night and this morning I woke up feeling (and I think looking) like maybe she's dropped a bit! So that is really exciting! I'm not sure that she's really the whole way into position, but she's definitely a little lower now and not constantly jabbing me in the ribs. So the pain associated with that has almost completely gone away, and now it's just become fun and kind of hilarious to feel (and to watch) my stomach move all around wildly.
Weight Gain: I'm holding steady now at just over 30 pounds... hoping I can make it the rest of the way without any more gain.
Maternity Clothes?: HA! Some of the maternity clothes I have are actually starting to feel pulled a bit in the stomach. Sooooo yeah, definitely wearing maternity clothes. My pj tops no longer even remotely fit me and my belly hangs pathetically out of the ones I do still wear. My husband's sweatpants and t-shirts are seeing a lot more wear lately. ;)
Stretch Marks? Yep. They have gotten pretty bad actually. I guess I'm not that concerned about them right now. I just be sure to use my belly butter on them every day (even though they are on my sides and my thigh and not at all on my belly) lol. Hopefully after baby comes, I can get some special oil or cream to help take them away.
Cravings: Salty things lately for sure. The Shalom School Dutch Fest was last weekend and I gorged myself on their delicious hand cut fries. With vinegar. yummmm.
Aversions: Still just carrots. And also anything spicy, which I always hate, but the thought of it has been particularly nauseating to me lately.
Symptoms: Heartburn is still hanging on. / My hips hurt when I wake up at night from laying on them. / A LOT of something I've come to learn is referred to as "lightning crotch". / The urge to pee has pretty much become a constant sensation. / Now that Spring is here and the days are warmer, I'm finding that I have a hard time getting cooled off. / Overall, I've had much fewer symptoms here at the end and I've been feeling really really good!
Sleep: Sometimes still not great, with waking up almost every hour, but actually I'm mostly waking up only every 3 hours or so now (which I think is my body preparing for breastfeeding), and the past week I've actually had a few nights where I slept 4-5 or so hours straight! It was amazing! They say this could be a sign of labor getting closer!
What I Miss:
Fitting in my car properly... I've slowly been backing my seat up farther and farther away from the wheel. It's getting a bit uncomfortable now. / The really good kind of hug. And also I feel kind of quarantined off right now with a recovering hubby, so that makes me extra hug-deprived.
Favorite Moments So Far: Maybe it's because everyone told me how miserable I would be during this last month and I had really low expectations for it, but I've been feeling really pretty great. Sure it's hard to bend over and to get super comfortable at night, but I have just finally been able to not hate being pregnant. This last month has been less painful on my ribs and if anything I've had a bit more energy. All I can say is, I thought I'd be counting down the days with eagerness and misery, but it's really not been like that at all. I'm not feeling antsy anymore to just be done. Although, I do want her to come so I can meet her face to face. / At our 38 week appointment, the midwife had me go to the hospital to get a non-stress test done. It took FOREVER because of some random stuff they had going on that day, but it ended up being really neat to actually see the baby's heartbeat on the monitor and hear it for almost 45 minutes. She has a really strong heart apparently. And also to see my contractions as they were happening. I had quite a few Braxton Hicks while I was there, and it was so odd to see them register on the screen. I actually wasn't 100 percent sure that that's even what they were until the screen told me it was. It was funny to say to Chad that I thought I was having one, and he could look on the screen and say, "yep... it's pretty high this time!" And now that I know how it feels (which doesn't in my opinion feel anything like how they describe a Braxton Hicks feeling) I can tell you I've easily been having them since 20 weeks or even earlier! It's crazy to know that's what it was this whole time!
Least Favorite Moments So Far: So at my 39 week doctors appointment the other day, they laid me back like they always do to feel the baby and do measurements and take the heartbeat... well, I've been having a pretty hard time with leaning back very far lately and definitely lying completely flat on my back is super bad-feeling. I always mention to them that it's very uncomfortable. This time I told the dr. right away because it hurt quite a bit more than usual. She said what they always do, that my uterus is compressing the vena cava and nerves which can decrease blood flow and cause discomfort. Well not even a minute later, everything started to lose color and I realized that I was about to faint. So I told her and she immediately helped me flip onto my side. After a minute I started to feel better... But, then I think I freaked out about it. You know me - I HATE passing out - and when I'm worried I will, it often brings on a panic attack. I haven't had a full out panic attack in quite some time, which I'm really proud of. But I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I started to feel a lot worse again and I got so so so hot. Like, my skin is on fire, I need a fan, I must have burn marks by now, hot. And I started to feel super nauseous. And started to feel really faint again. I just did my deep breathing, though, and I think I managed to stay quite calm as far as appearances go. And I told the doctor what was going on with how I was feeling. She was honestly the sweetest ever. She rubbed my arms, and took my pulse, and got a cool cloth to use on my burning skin, and spoke very softly, and helped me do my deep breathing, and I'm so thankful for kind, sweet professionals like her. (To all doctors, nurses, and health care providers: please be like this! It's so much easier to cope with that horrible sensation when people are being sweet and kind to you.) The whole thing probably lasted less than 5 minutes. And it felt awful. But my dr. made it seem like a non-event, and told me when I apologized profusely afterward, that many pregnant women have the same trouble with fainting when laying on their backs at this stage and that I had nothing to apologize for. So that made me feel better. And you can be sure as heck that I took myself to McDonald's afterward and got myself a very comforting Bacon Egg and Cheese Mcbagel. Because I deserved it. And that made me feel better, too.
Looking Forward To: Not the labor itself, because that scares the crap out of me, but the moment when I finally get to meet this baby girl that I've been carrying around for almost 9 months. And for that "whew" moment where I can wipe away the sweat and tears and breathe easier again and know that I did it... that I made it through, and it's over, and I can move onto the process of getting to know our baby and learning how to be a good parent with my amazing husband.
So naturally there is a lot to do to get ready for Baby Frey! Chad and I have been crazy busy running here and there to pick up things, making lists of everything we need to do, checking things off that list, putting together the nursery, and all manner of other baby prep activities. One of the things that I always knew I wanted to do was have maternity pictures taken. So at 35 weeks pregnant (last week), I suddenly remembered that not only had I not had these taken yet, but I hadn't even arranged for it to happen either.
I got in contact with Selena from Selena J. Photography yet that day, and she was so sweet to get back with me right away and schedule Chad and I for a session just a few days later. I have to admit, I wasn't super excited about having them done. I feel massive and so not pretty anymore, but I knew that I would regret not doing it later. So I scrounged up outfits for Chad and I and off we went.
I am so so glad that I had it done and that Selena could do them for us. She photographed our wedding, and Chad and I were so thrilled with how those pictures turned out. Not only did she take lovely pictures on our wedding day (despite the fact that it poured down rain), but she also invited us to do another shoot on a different day so we could have some outdoor pictures. She took us to a gorgeous spot: a little forest/pond near her studio. Those pictures turned out to be my favorite ones. Anyway, I was so happy that we could return to the same spot to have our maternity pictures done, and to make everything even more perfect, it was the same week as our anniversary. We just celebrated 4 years of marriage last Thursday! So how neat was it that we could sort of "recreate" some of the poses that Chad and I had done for our wedding, only this time with a baby on board!?
I ended up loving the photos
that Selena took of us! She worked her camera magic and made me feel
beautiful (even at 30+ pounds heavier than I was last time). I would so
recommend her to anyone who wants really gorgeous, quality, classy
pictures for any occasion! She's also going to do our newborn pictures
after the baby is born and I can't wait!
Here are my favorites:
How Far Along? 34 weeks, 1 Day. It's been 6 weeks since I last updated this, and I only have 6 weeks til my due date! That time flew by, so I know that this last little bit is going to go fast! :)
Baby Size: 5ish lbs, and about 18-19 inches long. Kinda the size of a cantaloupe.
Gender: Girl!
Movement? Yes. It's so interesting to feel her move. I almost always feel it in two places at once - up on top of my ribs, and way down at the bottom of my pelvis. We had an ultrasound at 31 weeks and the tech said that she was pretty stretched out in there. Also, I found out that one of the movements I've been feeling for a while is actually hiccups! How cute is that??
Weight Gain:
Ugh. Something like 32 lbs. Super depressing, because I think it's mostly not from the baby. It's mostly from the chocolate. (But hey, I lost 30 pounds before, and I can do it again!)
Maternity Clothes?: Yep, I just got a few more cute t-shirts for spring, and a really cute nursing cover-up :)
Stretch Marks? I suppose that's what they are. I have old scars on the sides of my hips from jeans that I used to wear in high school, and they have gotten seriously dark. And I have a definite stretch mark on my left thigh! HAHA! I think it's so strange that's where one turned up, but I ALWAYS sit with my legs underneath me... I tried to stop, but I just can't. It's the only way I'm comfortable. So I guess the marks are because of the way I bend my leg. LOL!
Cravings: Nothing really. Actually my appetite hasn't been amazing recently, and I've been feeling just slightly nauseous again sometimes (but apparently it hasn't hindered my ability to gain weight! Ha!)
Aversions: Just carrots. Man, let me tell you, ick! It kinda sucks, cause I used to really like them. But now it's like instant nausea. blah!
Symptoms: My ribs/abs area "burn" and feel bruised because this baby kicks them all the time. / I started having some horrible pain a few weeks ago in my hip/lower-back/butt which the doctor said is either sciatica or pelvic girdle pain. It hurt pretty much constantly, but sometimes it would get really super bad and I could barely walk. The other week at Target, for example, it suddenly started acting up and I was forced to waddle my way out of the store, hand on my back. A young mom with a little boy in tow gave me a very sympathetic smile and it gave me courage. Fortunately, this has really almost gone away recently. I'm so grateful, and I really hope it doesn't resurface again before this little one comes! / heartbuuuuurrnnnnn. / I've been dizzy on and off.
Sleep: No, not really. :( (Notice the dark circles and bags under my eyes in the picture up top?? lol)
What I Miss: Opening doors without them hitting my protruding stomach... I keep forgetting how big it's gotten. / Being able to zip up my coats and jackets, or wrap towels the whole way around me. / Sleeping on my stomach. / Sleeping at all.
Favorite Moments So Far: My baby shower was about 2 weeks ago, and that was so nice! My mom and sister (with the help of some dear friends) did an amazing job of making everything so cute and pretty! So grateful for the lovely ladies that came out and for all their sweet gifts for Baby Girl. Pictures to come... / BABYMOON! We finally managed to take ourselves away for a long weekend at the end of March. We headed to Lancaster and did lots of exploring and eating! Yum! Pictures to come of that as well! / We had our 3D/4D ultrasound done at 31 weeks and we were able to see Baby's cute little face (once she finally started cooperating). She loves to lay toward my back so that it's really hard to get a clear picture of her face, but when daddy started talking to her, she rolled right over to get closer to his voice. It was so cute. Also she did a lot of these little cute grins, often right after I laughed, like she knows I'm happy and it makes her happy. And on the normal 2D ultrasound, the tech showed us the hair that Baby Frey had grown as of 31 weeks! So adorable! Look at that cute little nose in the first picture!! awwwwwww! Melts my heart.
Least Favorite Moments So Far: Just the discomfort of being pregnant. And the exhaustion. But really now that all the "tests" and such are done, there hasn't been anything too awful.
Looking Forward To: Meeting this little girl. I almost can barely stand it! I'm a bit terrified of the whole process of getting her out (of course!) but I just cannot wait to see her face and hold her in my arms! :) It's not much of a secret that pregnancy hasn't been my favorite experience ever, but it's been so worth it to get to the end product! I'm hoping this next month and a half goes pretty quickly and that maybe she'll be as anxious to meet us as we are to meet her! (Meaning, maybe she'll decide to come a little early! haha!!)
Week 28 of my pregnancy is underway and that means that I am officially in my third trimester! I am thrilled about this because it means we are moving right along... and also a little anxious because I feel like there are still quite a few things that we need to get done before this little one comes! (yes, my cat is playing with a q-tip in the background)...
How Far Along? 28 weeks, 4 days! Less than 12 weeks to go!
Baby Size: About 2.5 lbs and almost 16 inches long head to toes or roughly the size of a big ole' eggplant! :)
Gender: Baby Frey is a GIRL!! We had a little gender reveal get-together to let our family in on the secret! I only managed to grab a few pictures of the set-up in all the hype :)
Movement? All the time now! Last time I updated this (which was almost 2 months ago) I was really wishing I could feel more movement! Now I sometimes find myself begging this little girl to calm down in there! She almost always hangs out up by my ribs and it honestly feels like she's prying them apart. My mom says I kicked her horribly in the womb so perhaps this is payback...
Weight Gain: Ugh.. about 20 lbs. Ick. Need to work on slowing that down. ...buuut that's probably not gonna happen at this point. realistically.
Maternity Clothes?: Yep. No more normal pants for me. Even most of t-shirts are getting too tight now :(. I still fit in a few pairs of my stretchy pajamas, though, and I've taken to wearing Chad's sweatpants around the house.
Stretch Marks?
Still none yet! Love the tummy butter I've been using. It smells amazing!
Cravings: Hmmm... nothing serious. I can always eat McDonald's breakfast though... or a Big Mac and fries. Mmmm. ...and now I'm hungry.
Aversions: Still avoiding carrots, but not much else.
Symptoms: Burning, aching ribs pretty much all the time. (My doctor assures me that this will only get worse) / Aching back. I can't ever get in a comfortable position anymore. / Still stuffy and congested all the time / heartburn, heartburn, and more heartburn.
Sleep: It's not so great. Weirdest of weird dreams. I wake up a lot. I need to hire a professional pusher-upper to help me maneuver out of bed. I feel like a turtle stuck on its back. My Snoogle body pillow has been a life saver, though... although there is a lot less room in our bed now. hahaha!
What I Miss:
Just feeling like "myself". I miss not having to share my body with a tiny human being. LOL. That sounds kinda crazy and maybe a little selfish, but it's true. I already love this little girl to death and I value feeling her move from the inside. I know its the only time I'll get that experience with her... but I think I will be glad to go back to being "just me". Eating and drinking what I want and moving without waddling. Hugging Chad without feel like I've get a big round ball wedged between us. I will cherish carrying baby girl on the inside long as God deems fit, but I dream longingly of the days when I will carry her in my arms instead.
Favorite Moments So Far: Revealing the gender and no longer having to say "the baby" instead of "she". And also showing off the nursery! I loved finally letting everyone explore her room! Hopefully I'll have time to take some good pictures and put them on here!
Least Favorite Moments So Far: The 1-hour blood glucose screening that they force you to take to make sure you don't have gestational diabetes. It actually went surprisingly well considering that a year ago, the thought of having blood work done reduced me to tears and panic attacks. I've come a long way and I was able to down that drink, wait an hour, and get the lab work done like... well not really like a champ. But not kicking and screaming either. :) I call that a win! And once it was done and I found out I passed, I breathed a massive sigh of relief that I didn't have to do the 3-hour test!
Looking Forward To: We're planning on doing a 4D ultrasound at the same place that we had our gender reveal ultrasound done, hopefully around 30 weeks. It's coming up fast, though, so I need to get that scheduled to make sure we can get in! I can't wait to see more "realistic" pictures of what she looks like in there! Also, I'm really looking forward to a babymoon of some kind. We had planned on taking one weeks ago already, but it just never happened. I am determined though, that at some point before baby comes, we will go away by ourselves and relax for a few days. :)
So that pretty much rounds up the last few months for us. I can't believe how fast this has all been going! It's crazy to think that in less than 3 months, she'll be here!! Ahh! We can't wait!
We didn't get a chance to send out Christmas cards this year, so I thought I'd post the infographic that I planned to include with them. (You can click the image to make it bigger if the fine print is a little too small).
For the past few years, I've tried to come up with some realistic New Year Resolutions for myself. Things that I really believe I can do and that will help me be a better person. This year is no exception, and I've had a lot of fun coming up with a few things that I hope to accomplish by the start of 2016.
Most of my goals this year center around my anxiety & panic disorder. If you know me well, or you've read this blog, you might know that I have struggled for some time with panic attacks and periods of anxiety of varying intensities. Over the last year, I have made HUGE strides in this exhausting race to beat the anxiety. My counselor (who experiences anxiety herself) has helped me leaps and bounds and taught me ways to keep it at bay, and with help, I've been able to finally get some relief from it. I tell you all this, because anxiety and panic are silent problems that affect so many more people than we realize. No one talks about these problems. It took me YEARS to work up the courage to get help for my anxiety. I was embarrassed that I was so terrified to do things that other people did everyday without thinking twice. I was convinced I was crazy. I was afraid people would say I needed to be "sent somewhere". Anyway, I'm here to tell you, MANY MANY people struggle in the SAME WAYS. Now that I'm in a place where I can think more clearly, I've become passionate about the continuous healing process that I'm in (it truly takes constant, vigilant effort to keep moving forward), and about encouraging others who are experiencing anxiety or panic, and helping people who don't to understand this disorder so they can learn to be more understanding toward the people who do struggle with it.
ANYWAY. That was a bit of a deep bunny trail. My resolutions for this year are all actually pretty lighthearted. And that's kind of the point of them. To lighten that 'heavy' pressure of the anxiety when it tries to creep its way in! :)
This year, I really want to focus on being more positive. Positivity, gratefulness,
and finding joy are so important for keeping the anxiety at bay. :)
This has become one of my favorite verses. And
now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on
what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and
admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. - Philippians 4:8 (NLT).
It's one of those verses that I love to look at all the different translations of the Bible to understand better. There are SO many (all happy and positive) things that the different translations command us to keep our thoughts on. Whatever is: true, authentic, honorable, proper, gracious, noble, reputable, respected, worthy of reverence, honest, right, just, fair, good, clean, pure, holy, lovely, and loveable, the beautiful NOT the ugly, the best NOT the worst, friendly, amiable, admirable, winsome, gracious, excellent, commendable, worthy of praise, and virtuous. Wow! How much better would I feel if I would dwell on these things? If I focused on the beautiful, not the ugly? The best, not the worst? If I didn't just jump to the negative conclusion, and instead focus on the positive in each bad, sad, or difficult moment?
So, I decided to use this verse as a guide to start "a-photo-a-day" challenge for 2015. My goal is to take 1 picture every day of something that follows the qualifications of Philippians 4:8. I hope to periodically have these pictures printed and combine them into some sort of photo journal of all the happy, quiet, lovely moments that happened around me in every day of 2015. I have had my eye on some gorgeous Project Life albums and kits that I think would be an awesome outlet to showcase these pictures. And it would help me with the second part of my 'positivity' resolution, which is about gratitude.
I saw this awesome idea on pinterest, to keep a gratitude jar and fill it with jotted down recollections of happy moments as they happen.
I think it would be more effective for me, though, to do it in journal form, and the Project Life albums will be a great outlet to jot down these moments to remember. I love the adorable little cards that you can buy (or download) to jot these moments and memories and happy thoughts on.
So together, I think the photos and the journaling cards will come together to make a great 2015 gratitude album! :)
One last easy thing that I'm hoping to do this year (since I will be having a baby and will be home a lot more) is to keep myself busy (not that I'm expecting to just be laying around all day after the baby is born! haha!). But I want to keep my myself distracted from overthinking (a big anxiety producer for me) by entertaining myself with other outlets. For this I decided to make a list of books to read. I LOVE to read, and I always say I want to read more, so this will be a good way to follow through with that! I saw a similar idea of this on Pinterest, but I went ahead and made a category list of my own that was more suited to my tastes (and to staying positive). (I'm having trouble making this picture big enough to read, but to see it bigger, you can right click on it, and then click "view image". You can then click on the picture again to make it even bigger.)
This list ended up feeling a bit ambitious, so we'll see if I actually get ALL this done! I have a feeling, at least the Children's book portion of the list will fly by after the baby's born! ;).
Here's to a lovely, beautiful, pure, and excellent 2015!!! Happy New Year!
